This is what helps Elaine's jaw ...

... so I phoned Elaine's therapist, who was referred by her orthodontist to see if she could help with my anxiety. She said she could ... so I decided to give it a try.

When Elaine started her treatment with the orthodontist, which began with a silicone template on the bottom teeth, then top braces and then bottom teeth braces, she was referred to a physio who specialises in Cranial Sacral Therapy. (She needed the orthodontic treatment to release pressure in the jaw joint which caused her jaw to click and frequently dislocate.) The therapy helped her so much in the beginning, leaving her jaw relaxed enough for the treatment to work it's 'magic' ! She has been for therapy on the odd occasion when her jaw goes into a spasm .. when new wires and elastics are put on, it results in quite a bit of pain. Two weeks ago, more wires and stronger elastics were added and she was in terrible pain .... again.

A visit to the therapist worked wonders and she came back home so relaxed and spasm free! This is when I thought that I would give it try. I also came home so relaxed and slept all afternoon! This video shows the therapist working only on the head, but they start at the feet and work their way up the body, releasing trapped energy. She found I had trapped negative energy in my liver (which is a sign of stress and anxiety) and all across my upper chest and shoulders - where I get 'the alien' feelings starting. She 'worked' for a long time in this area and so releasing the energy. It's not only her doing the work, she told me to turn that negative energy into positive energy (which I have been struggling with ... thinking positively when you are in that state is hard ... very hard.)

I thought she would leave me to relax while she 'worked' but she talked most of the time putting a different perspective on what I was feeling. I now am consciously turning that negative energy into positive energy and it seems to be working !! I have changed the gender of the negative energy and given it a 'form' and she is now in my garden! Sounds a little daft .. but that's what I've done ... I have to use 'her' to work 'for' me ... and not 'against' me! Sounds weird, I know, but hey ... it's working ! I have reduced the tranquilisers by half ... and today, I haven't had any ... ok, it is Sunday and a relaxing day but it's better than any other day .. for 7 weeks !!!

Tomorrow will be a good day !!!!

BTW ... my negative energy is now positive energy and her name is ...... Gemima !!!

Weekly Winners :

Connor and Jackie ... togetherness ...

A boy and a dog ....

.. a boy giving a dog a love/a squeeze ...

.... a boy telling the dog he loves her ...

... a boy giving the dog a kiss !!!!

... then 'the boy' gets hold of camera and takes photo of his granny ... (would have been legs and feet if granny hadn't crouched :) )!!!!

Connor and I (photos above !) were in the back garden having fed the birds and not long after Connor had put the apple there, it was nibbled on by a few birds ... amongst them was this Black Collared Barbet ...

Jeanette's birthday was yesterday. I made my 'speciality chocolate cake' without the usual smarties !!!! Ohhh nooo !!! ... but sprinkled it with teeny tiny stars instead ... stars for a 'star daughter' ...

Fortunately I had made the cake earlier that morning as the power went out in the afternoon and had to cook camping style !!!! (which by the way, we don't DO camping - these are for emergency use ONLY!) We have two gas bottles with cooker tops for cooking when the electricity goes off .. which used to be frequent .. very frequent .. but we are now cut off less frequently, fortunately ... but it just happen to go off when I was cooking our dinner .. Jeanette's birthday dinner!

Sooo .. out came the gas stuff. Bryan offered his Mom's Wonder Bag to help with the cooking process - dashed home to fetch it and returned with this amazing bag ...

I had heard of them years ago but had never actually seen one. I had heard how good they were for slow cooking. It's hard to believe anything could cook in it but it does! Whatever you are cooking has to be boiled first (soup, casseroles, etc) then pop the pot into the bag ... pop the lid/cover/hat on .... tie it nice and tight ... and it cooks .... s l o w l y ....!!

It works !!!! It's amazing !!! I must get one !!!!

And here's the birthday girl ...

.. blowing out her candles ...

... and finally, must add Bradley, with chocolate smeared lips and sporting his new haircut !!!!

For more Weekly Winners visit Lotus' blog

Needing a little help from my friends ...

... still ... but I am getting there !!!


Been to a couple of sessions with the clinical psychologist .. she says I'm doing fine .. better than most .... really really really looking forward to our holiday in August .... where are we going?

Mauritius !!!!!

Wordless Wednesday :

... I am getting better ... things are looking up !! :)

For more Wordless Wednesday contributions go here and here

I'm still on rocky ground ..

.. but feeling a lot better today.

Calming pills and a keep fit class DO NOT go together !!! I tried yesterday and found the class was better than last weeks (I go once a week on a Friday) and last week I was really in a 'dark place' - but tranquilizers and trying to make muscles work doesn't really work. But I carried on .. stopped when I had to ... and carried on. Felt so much better after that - a little more normal!

Had the boys in the afternoon ... on my own .. something I haven't done for about 2 weeks. It felt good! I felt good! It felt normal .. at last !!

I have lost weight quickly as I haven't eaten much except 'Ensure' vitamin supplement, bananas and the meals I have cooked without any enthusiasm have been as plain as plain can be!!!! But I have managed to eat a little of them!!!

The thought of not feeling normal again scared me and my son and daughter in law who have both been in this 'dark place' assured me that I WILL be normal again. They are both paramedics and the trauma that they endure is unbelievable. I didn't believe them when they told me the other evening that I WILL be normal again but I do now ... I am getting there !!

All this has been caused by anxiety and panic attacks which seem to have taken over my body and become overwhelming and uncontrollable.

'My' panic attack starts in my shoulders like a cold feeling under the skin .. travels up my neck and into my head ... swims around in my head so that it feels like cotton wool ... travels down my arms .. makes my hands clammy and my mouth goes so dry that I can't swallow. I am then left with a body that feels like it's been taken over by an alien.

I have tried yoga breathing, meditating, calming music, singing ... anything to take it away .. leave my body .... to ME .. it's mine !

BUT .... I am feeling better today ... better than I did yesterday !!! I do feel like 'Lucy in the sky with diamonds' for a couple of hours in the morning once I take the calming pill. My doctor says I need to take a quarter instead of half! Tomorrow I shall try a quarter and hope the alien doesn't pop in for a visit !!!

I don't want to be 'Lucy' every morning!!!!

I need to get a balance between 'Lucy' and the alien !!

I am not in a good place at the moment ..

.... kind-of stuck!!!

I have needed to go and see a clinical psychologist ... yes ... me .. of all people!! The one who does yoga, gyming, caring ...

As I walked through the door .. I thought .. wow - couch .. tissues next to couch ... armchair for her .... but I was there - yesterday !

Very long story ... but all in nutshell .. she asked me whether I had written all this stuff down .. that's going on in my head.

No .. I haven't! Why not, she asked ... (It's just like the movies ... she sits ... you taught .. she takes down pages and pages of notes ...) Do I get advice on howto fix it .. a quick fix .. NO !!!

I told her, amongst so many other things about my Mum and how I have accepted the way she is and it was obviously blogging about it helped. A blog she said ? You have a blog? She was surprised!

Clinical psychologists don't talk much either (kind-of disturbing as all you want are answers!) so when the blog word came up .. her eyebrows when up and she smiled - that's good, and how does it help you.

Mmm that's another thing they say ... how does that help you, how do you feel about that ...... ..... .... I have never been asked questions like before.

So I here am .. in this dark place at the moment .. trying to be normal again and trying to find my way back - and hopefully quickly as I don't have time for all this nonsense :) .... and am writing down what I feel ... 'cos that's what she told me to do !!

Soooo ... to my lovely bloggy friends out there - bare with me .. I will be back to normal in no time !! But you may get all sorts of 'stuff' on this blog for a while (with the odd photo, of course!).

And ... you even get HOMEWORK from clinical psychologists !!! I have to right down 'stuff' (she has even given me a specific subject!) for my next session next week. Homework never ever goes away .. no matter old you get !!!!

To my hubby and my children .... MWAH ... MWAH .... I love you lots !!!

Wordless Wednesday :

Japanese Gardens, Kew Gardens, London

For more Wordless Wednesday contributions go here and here

Not pleased !!

Last week I had a head cold .. sniffles, blocked sinus etc so went off to the pharmacy to get some "Nurofen for colds and flu". I have had it once before .. last year .. and it worked well .. so thought this time it would do the trick. I needed to stop the cold before it turned into genuine flu ... I don't much like flu .. so try and avoid it !!!

It's an over-the-counter medication .. ask and you get. To put you in the picture, I have been suffering from yo-yo'ing blood pressure since the beginning of the year and my doctor - last month - increased the blood pressure tablets. I don't take a high dosage anyway, so the increased amount is still not a lot.

I didn't take many of the "Nurofen for colds and flu" - probably for two days and then only at night for about two nights after that.

Over the weekend my metabolism went wonky .. anxiety was the result .. the whole weekend. It continued yesterday so, off I toddled to the doctor, who examined me thoroughly .... again .. as he had done about a month ago. My blood was normal. I had taken a calmative which he had prescribed for me about a year ago when I was given an anti biotic for flu, by another doctor as I was 'dying' over a weekend and my doctor was off that weekend! The calmative was working, but I still felt I needed reasurrance that I was OK.

Having told him about my cold and all the rest of the 'stuff' that went with last week (hubby going in for biospy and subsequent relief that all was well) as well as the 'Nurofen for colds and flu' - he said it's the ingredient - Pseudoephedrine - that has caused the anxiety. I should never have been sold this stuff over the counter with my history of hypertension. The drug causes heart pulpitations, increased blood pressure .. and all the things that are bad for me !!!! But of course, the chappie behind the counter doesn't ask any questions like "do you suffer from hypertension etc etc" - he just wants to sell the goods.

Now it has to take time for this stuff to get out of my system ..... so I am popping calming tablets to keep me sane!!!

Went off to the dentist today (my normal 6 monthly appointment - yes, we are very good with our teeth and our bi - annual visits!!!) - was a bit of an effort but kept telling myself that "I am normal ... I am normal ... I am normal .... and .... I can do this .. I can do this ... I can do this" My dentist always asks how I am (naturally) and whether my hubby is here or away (he is usually away on business when I go for my check-ups) I told him about my problem and he said with shocked expression .. "but that stuff should never be sold over the counter - pseudoephedrine was taken off the market a while ago .... it looks like "they've" brought it back!"

How many more people have suffered like me, I wonder?

Weekly Winners :

My balance has been off sometimes .... lately ...

... not sure how to get it back ... ... maybe sunshiny yellow roses ...

... maybe pretty tulips ..

... a plastic tree ? ...

.. cars on top .... and inside ..

... vroom ... vroom ...

... definitely one happy little boy always makes me smile and lifts my spirits .....

For more Weekly Winners visit Lotus here

I wish I could tell my Mum...

..that the beautiful bride in this photo has recently made contact with my cousin through Rhodesian's Worldwide ... she used to work for the accounting company his Dad and my Dad used to own in Bulawayo. The company still exists today ...with our family name, but sadly no members of the family are there anymore.


She asked after our families remembering the two little boys at her wedding being the sons of one of the partners ... and also the little flower girl on the left of photo.

That's me !!! aged 5 .. in 1957 !!

It was the one and only time I have ever been a flower girl or bridesmaid and it was on the occasion of her wedding. The wedding reception was held in our beautiful garden ...

It was the one and only time I have ever been a flower girl .. or bridesmaid .. and the wedding reception was held in our garden of our beautiful home, Craigo, in Bulawayo. Our home .. built by my paternal grandfather. The photograph below is in a collage of my child/growing-up photos which my Mum put together years ago and hangs on the wall .. right in front of me as I am typing this ...

From my Mum's photograph album, where I found the wedding photo, on the same page, was this photo of me with my cousins, in the middle and my eldest brother on the right - I grew up with boys ! ... no sisters and no girl cousins close by! I always had beautifully made dresses .. all made by my Mum


I wish I could tell my Mum that this beautiful bride has made contact after so many years ... and she and her husband are well ...

Not quite a felt-tipped pen ..

... but have had a spa pedicure today ...

.. where my feet were wrapped in hot paraffin wax ... oiled and massaged ... filed and buffed ... and finally prettied up with polish !!!

I also had a hot stone head and neck massage .... ooooh ... h e a v e n l y !!!!!

... and ... just when I thought she ... Lexi, the therapist from Body Therapy at the Lifestyle Garden Centre .... was finished ... she ... Lexi ... smeared my already-relaxed-oiled-back-and-neck with exfoliating scrub .... oooohh .. aaaahhh !!!

I stepped off the planet for two hours today ...

.... thank you soooo much Jeanette and Lance for an amazingly unforgettable birthday prezzie ... mwah !! x x x

"The sky fell down today ..

.. and I must go and tell the King .... "

... just like Chicken Licken ... an acorn fell on Chicken Licken and he went on his way to tell the King that the sky was falling down.

I was shaken! Still am !!

A ceiling board fell on my mat at pilates this morning ... square onto the mat .. with a thud ... dust and bits and pieces from inside the ceiling fell with it. We were doing leg stretches ... lying on the back, one leg up, stretching the hamstring muscle ... and then I saw it start to fall above my body!

In a split second I rolled over to my left and the entire piece fell ... with a thud .. onto my mat .. where I had been lying .. just a second earlier!

Nobody else saw it .. it happened that fast!! The other ladies all said they heard a noise and saw me sitting .. upright ... in a cloud of dust !!

I was lucky ... very lucky ... I could have been badly hurt - it could have done a lot of damage to my nose, eyes, face and body ... I was lying on my back ...

.. and .. as luck would have it .. the chappie who was up in the ceiling ... and whose leg dangled out through the gaping whole ... didn't fall with it! He would have landed on me too !!! Iwas so shaken I didn't realise there was anyone up in the ceiling or for that matter, saw the dangling leg!

We carried on with the pilates class after I recovered a bit from the shock of knowing that I was in one piece, but I moved well away from all the debris and kept my eye on the ceiling in case anymore bits came down !

I have had apologies from several people in Management of the gym - Virgin Active, Roodepoort - as repairs to the airconditioning should NOT have been carried out while there was a class in progress.

All 'things' happen in three's ... this, I am hoping is the third.

A couple of years ago, Elaine and I were driving on a public road which goes under part of building which connects two buildings of the Cresta Shopping Centre. A long piece of metal casing used for covering wires came away from the building and dropped onto the bonnet of my car, narrowly missing the windscreen and Elaine. We were not hurt.

Two years ago, the whole ceiling in our lounge fell down. The first section fell while I was in the bath. My hubby came to tell me what the tremendous noise was, at which I left out of the bath and with towel wrapped around, I gazed in disbelief at the mess and the gaping whole, when the rest of the ceiling gave way, covering us in a cloud of dust. We were not hurt.

I think this is no. 3 ... I was not hurt .. I was sooo lucky !

I have just bought a lottery ticket! :)

Water .. or nectar of the gods ..

My blood pressure has been yo-yo-ing since Christmas and went to the doc yesterday. The same thing happened two years ago ...

Sooo .. doc has given me the same medication as before - don't need it for long .. just to stabilize the BP. It's a diuretic which works immediately and already I am feeling normal again.

Have to go for blood tests (as I haven't had cholestral etc checked for ages now) and also do a 24 hour urine test as apparently there is a gland or something in the urinary tract that can have an affect on the BP. But to do this test, I have to eliminate certain things from my diet for 5 days before 'filling the bottle'.

Glancing at the list, I thought, this will be easy .. until I read 'tea, coffee, coke' ... coke is very easy as I hardly ever drink the stuff .. tea .. only have two cups a day ... and coffee .. only have one cup a day .. so it seems pretty simple.

So what do I drink instead ... the answer is obviously water but I noticed alcohol is not on the list and never thought to ask when I was given 'my bottle' and instructions on what to do! Simple, I hear you say .. but there is also a little tiny bottle of acid that has to be added to 'my bottle' so I have to beware !!!

Citrus fruits and juices are on the list .... as well as vanilla and any foodstuffs containing vanilla ... ice cream ... cakes and sweets ... chocolate ... nuts ... pineapple ... cocoa ... bananas ... avocado.

Wine ... can I drink wine morning, noon and night!!!!! ??

Wine .. water .. wine .. water ... ...... ..... wine !! :)

The 'Wow' factor !

Choosing overall photos from hundreds and hundreds we took, between hubby and I, was a mammoth task!!!! So have picked a few that really made me go ...


.... WOW ..... to the grass which is the greenest of greens ...

... the trees .... scattered in parks like this at Blarney Castle, Co. Cork ..

.... and forests with autumn colours ...

... the mountains, reminiscent of our Cape mountains, mirrored lakes - in the Connemara National Park, Co. Galway

... the barren, rocky landscape of The Burren, Co. Clare which extended for miles and miles ...

... the exquisite beauty of the original Waterford Crystal ...

.. which showroom is filled with sparkling works of art like this beautiful huge vase ....

(sadly, it's only the showroom left with a few people manning it as the entire factory closed down due to the recession and has relocated to Poland. There are still some items - genuine Waterford, made in Ireland - left for sale .... hubby bought me the most beautiful bud vase which has the Waterford stamp on the base! Exquisite !! Shall have to take a photo of it !! )

... and this magnificent chandelier which sparkles with the light shining through the large window ..

... to the centuries old buildings ... like this Round Tower reaching 30 mtrs which stands at the 6th century monastic site established by St Stephen in Glendalough, Co. Wicklow .. (first thoughts that came to mind was ... "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair ...")

... and another centuries-old rocky stronghold which "rises dramatically out of the Tipperary plains". It dates back to the 4th/5th Century. The museum houses treasures including The St Patrick's Cross - St Patrick visited Cashel in 450. In future posts, I will show more of this magnificent medievial complex.

... to the colour of the calm sea at Mizen Head, Co. Cork - the furthest south-westerly point of Ireland ...

... and I was there ....

... to the majestic Cliffs of Moher, Co. Clare, which rise to a height of 200 mtrs above the sea and stretch for 8 kms ... a little hazy on the day we went

.. but it was breathtaking .... we walked from that castle perched on top .. to the brownish area above that huge cave in the photo above

.. to the misty plains and castles ...

... and the hundreds of statues .... this one being one of my favourites ... she stands at Rosses Point, Co. Sligo 'watching and waiting for loved ones to return from the sea'

... and then of course there were all the churches and abbeys with magnificent ceilings, interiors and stained glass windows ... this reflection of the beautiful colours caught my eye in the Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin which is the oldest church in Ireland ..

... not forgetting all the pubs including this one simply called The Bank ... as it was a bank! (We both had a very good meal whilst sipping my French wine and hubby drinking his Guinness!)

... and then ... of course .... you can't visit Ireland without kissing the Blarney Stone ... !!!

... and visiting the Guinness Storehouse and having a Guinness ... cheers !!